Every Knook and Cranny... Sadly

Good afternoon readers! how are you guys today?
I am well, except for the fact that i am beyond stressed, and tired and yah... also im creeped out...
So last night i went to a club/ bar type place with my toronto gang, and it was actually really boring for a thursday night, and so therefore i decided to leave:

[In a cab]
Cab Driver: Do you smoke?
Me: Ew no
Cab Driver: Well you smell like smoke
Me: Oh well i was standing with my friend who smokes
Cab Driver: oh
Me: Do you smoke?
Cab Driver: Only Marijuana
Me: ohh.. [weird] ok
Cab Driver: and only when i want to have sex!
Me: Ohh [giggling]
Cab Driver: ya i last longer that way
Me: Ic ... Interesting
Cab Driver: yah and it feels better too
Me: Yep [ahh what a creeper... why are you telling me about this]
Cab Driver: i just like to touch every knook and cranny of a girl you know?
Me: [Small terrified laugh: oh please dont rape me]
Cab Driver: Thats what girls want right?
Me: guess so...
Cab Driver: yep where am i bringing you again
Me: [ahh]

luckily readers. i made it home untouched yet scarred for life. this 250 pound man is a little bit to open. haha made for a funny night though.. and FYI readers, i was in no way intoxicated, so each and every bit of this is true. just thought i would share this with you :P

Anyway i guess i will share with you the moral of the story. Smoking is bad, in general... and it causes you to smell like smoke, which causes creepy people -such as cab drivers- to talk to you about their sex lives. [and every knook and cranny] I dont really know how i get myself in such awkward situations, but i seem really good at it dont i? lol

Ok so i just wanted to share with you my favorite 4 places to be in toronto so far
The Unicorn Pub on Younge and Eglington
The Octopus on College and just past Bathhurst
Imperial Pub on Dundas and Victoria
and Filthy McNastys on Younge and Eglington

They are the bombest places to be... so ya lmao
Anyway i shall go now as i have shared with you my thoughts for today.
Remember what i told you. my morals to all of my stories (which are all true) will keep you safe and alive probably.. lol

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Diana R.I.P

Hey everyone, this is a special blog dedicated to a friend of my family who passed away yesterday at the age of 45. It was so sudden and so sad. She will be missed.
My mom met Diana when she was pregnant with me, and Diana was pregnant with her daughter Alisha. They had classes together to prepare for birth. They became great friends and for the next 19 years they talked on the phone nearly every day. They grew very close because of how close in age Alisha and I are, and were able to share one anothers experiences together as we grew up. A beautiful person has been lost. Diana, you have touched the lives of so many, and for the friend you have been for my mother i thank you, may you rest in peace Diana. You will always be in our hearts.
Please pray for the family of Diana.

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Photo Album of Boredness!

You are welcome Delci and Dave :)

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

AHH

 AHHH

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Just A Random Line In A Song I Like

 the city has sex with itself i suppose
as the concrete collides, the scenery grows

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

If You Are Lucky Enough To be Irish, Then You Are Lucky Enough

Goodday and welcome to Tuesday February 9th 2010
did you realize that today is the only Tuesday February 9th 2010 that you will ever expirence? Make it a good one readers! lol
Also i wanted to point out that the title of this blog has little or nothing to do with the actual blog itself. i am just a fan of the quote!!

(This picture -above- is dedicated to Delcinea)

Ok so lets have a serious conversation now... lets talk about last night when i was walking home from flow, and i saw something (but right now i cant recall exactly what the something was) and i started to rap about it inside my head (at least i hope it was inside my head haha) and it went something like this "its a hobo, its a hobo... what what what... A HOBO!" and this song just played over and over again in my head on the whole walk home!
So the point is that i am a bit of a crazy person, and i will most likely soon be speaking to myself while walking down the toronto streets, like much of the other crack heads that wander about downtown. oh dear god please do not let me start talking to myself.
just the other day some dude came up walking behind me screaming to himself that when we get to heaven... god will not feed us, rather he will make us starve... and then he started growling in a very unpleasant manner like he was going to tear my head off.
when you are in this situation ladies and gents, please do not make eye contact with the crazy... i unfortunatly made the mistake of glancing in his direction and he began screaming directly at me for a brief minute. i was quite terrified, and possibly scarred for life.
And FYI crazy man... if and when i make it to heaven... im SURE since its HEAVEN... i will be fed... if not... then why the hell does anyone work so hard to get there? just curious.
im not even sure if i believe in heaven. i rather believe in re-incarnation as it sounds more interesting. in my opinion i have been an amazing angel in this lifetime thus far (hah) and therefore i may as well come back as a goddess in my next life! wouldnt that be wonderful?? I THINK SO!!!

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Valentines Day Special

Hey peeps :P
From here on out once a week i will be posting my FLOW journal on here. Its the journal that i have had to hand in. So there you go haha

So anyway i just thought i would tell you that but i will not be posting one today. lol
Ok so i would like to dedicate this blog to valentines day.. and because valentines day is coming up on sunday (less than a week away) So lets talk about the lovey-dovey (sex-tastic) day!
I would like to point something out a few things to the men who may be reading this:
-Diamonds ARE a girls best friend
-Stuffed animals are cute but they arent diamonds
-A card may be sentimental but it isnt diamonds
-Perfume may smell lovely... but guess what... it isnt diamonds
-A poem, though original... is not a diamond
-A key to your heart... not only is it not a diamond... UMM TACKY

lmao

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Ugg

Monday February 1st

Good afternoon wonderful humans
You may have noticed that a blog about mail is missing. but that is only because i deleted it and never mind why.
anyway i would like all of you people to know that yesterday was my 19th birthday and it was wonderful.
i was surrounded by all of the people that i care most about in this world.
So i would like to say thanks to everyone who made my birthday just PERFECT. you guys truly are the best!

ok ok so anyway, what shall i write about today to put comedy into our world? hmmm give me a minute please.

i honestly feel like my mind is blank right now... weird. maybe i should read the news and something will inspire me? i hope so. another minute please...

Tuesday February 3rd

So here i am continuing the blog that i started the other day because i really didn't have anything to talk about the other day... not that i do now. life is just busy and uneventful!!

so anyway im going to post this even though it is very brief and boring!


Love Always

SmartyPants xo

To Blog or Not To Blog... That Is The Question

hello loved ones. i have a confession to make... i am very ashamed of myself.. because i said i would never stoop so low.
I think i should go to confession. I just need to get this out. please dont judge me... i am merely a human being... i am not perfect...
ok here goes...

I GAVE IN TO WHOPPER WEDNESDAY!!!! Thats right :( i ate a whopper from burger king today and i liked it!)
lmfao

so yah, i dont feel so good how that its in my stummy. i actually kinda wish i was friends with bulimia right now (and i know thats nothing to joke about but still) AND FOR THE RECORD I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH BULIMIA! When i become famous i just KNOW this is going to come back to haunt me. people magazine will have an article about me being bulimic... i will not be pleased... but i will remember that i did it to myself.

and the thing is... i could just delete it right now but... i just dont feel like it. i am THAT lazy that i dont even feel like deleting it... wow... and new low.
on another note, i am sorry to inform you that i have not seen any blog-inspiring people lately, so that i why i am writing about whopper Wednesday... in case you were wondering.
lol
ok ladies and gents, my birthday is on sunday.. so you guys better damn well not forget. i will be mighty upset if you do... so DONT.. that is the solution.
Ok ppl im out
Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Snookums Bookums
Your, the apple of my eye
And i love you so
and i want you to know
that i will always be right here
and i will always sing these songs to you
because you are so dear :)Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Boring Day

 Hello and welcome to Wednesday afternoon...
Today is just tooooo boring for my life...
Have a good day ...

lots of love and sex and magic to all of you

SmartyPants xo

The Next Michael Jackson? *Shudders*

Wow ok if you know me you would know that i have always been terrified of michael jackson... but heres the thing... blondie heidi montag seems to be taking over his looks... 10 procedures in one day? COMMON! I am officially scared of her...

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Lucky Ducky

Just shook hands with Jully Black... Yep im a lucky girl... (p.s. she is really nice!) thank you FLOW935 for this opportunity! loveee it























 Did i think i would be shaking hands with celebs last year at this time? nope... did i think this would be happening two months ago? nope... that just goes to show you how quickly life changes. i mean wow...
Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Arent Those Lashes a Bit THICK For Your Age, Old Lady?

Hello Old lady, welcome to Starbucks... what can i get you today? oh you aren't sure? i would suggest looking at our very clear, large menus up there (points to the menu boards)... whats that? you cant read them? it must be your age... after all you are old. wait a minute... it might help if you could open your eyes... those eyelashes (fake) look awfully THICK... They are weighing down your lids... making it impossible to open your eyes.



I have a question for you old lady, and pardon me if im being rude... but why do you need to wear these lashes? no one expects you to look nice.. you are very old... and will be dead soon enough... what is the sense in gluing fakies on? I really am just curious...

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Swimming In A Big Pool Of Yumm

Good afternoon, and welcome to this special post.
I am currently surrounded by celebs... Sexy talented celebs!!!
Such as... Little X, Danny Fernandez, and more are coming... im pretty sure kos is coming too. im so happy!
im just in my own little happy lalalala YUMM world. my apologies but this is the end of this specific blog because i have to write about old ladies with fake eyelashes in starbucks... and so that will be on the next one... and also... i will be updating who i have seen today throughout the day. stay tuned lovies...

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

Asian Daredevils... But Whats With The Hood Thing?

Green light, rush hour, downtown Toronto... Cars speeding through the streets... Smart people waiting for the signal to walk... others, not so brilliant, have decided to tighten their hoods as tight as they can around their heads and run through the bustling, busy, traffic. i wish i had a picture.. ok well i just made a picture on paint for you...

ok.... so i realise this man isnt asian, and he isnt running through traffic, but hey whatever at least you have the oportunity to see what the people look like... ok now picture them running through traffic.
It confuses me a little bit... first of all... is this hood-tightening thing ment to be a fashion statement? and why do they feel its nessasary to run through traffic like this? this cant be safe! not at all...

Also... if anyone recognises this man that i have drawn a hood onto, and he is a)a celeb that you adore, or b) one of your family members... then my apologies for drawing this tight black hood on him.. but i think its pretty comical... but thats just my opinion.

anyway... enough about this foolishness, lets have a chat about Haiti. Haiti could really use your help, and Flow93.5 is having a telethon to raise money for Haiti on Monday January 18th 2010 (aka tomorrow). Tomorrow i will post the phone number that will be used to raising money, but for now,  all you need to do is visit www.redcross.ca/flowhelps or text "haiti" to 45678... if you live in Canada, which im assuming most of you do, or if by chance you are from the states, text "haiti" to 90999... By texting either of these numbers you will be donating $5.00 to Haiti, and it will show up on your phone bill. Please donate what you can.

Love Always

SmartyPants xo

p.s. EVERYONE BETTER REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP!!! JAN 31ST!

The Toilet Lady...

 Wow so, according to the article posted in my previous blog, this lady was so scared to leave the bathroom that she actually had not left for 2 years. Unfortunate for other people who needed to use the washroom eh? I would think other people using that washroom would want some privacy. after all i wouldn't want a random girl just chillin in there while i'm doing my business!
Anyway... In the end the "toilet lady"got stuck to the toilet by her bottom. (but im sure you figured that) apparently police found her just stuck... and her boyfriend just thought this was okay? REALLY? REALLY? really?? (delci i thought you would enjoy that... SNL... duh)
The real question is... why is this guy dating someone who cant leave the bathroom, and even better, that is stuck to the toilet? There HAS to be something wrong with this dude right?
I can JUST imagine what their date nights must be like...
skip the candles... just light a match? :)

Love Always
SmartyPants xo

Toilet Lady... Wow

Women Stuck on Toilet

Above is a link that i randomly came across today during some "spare time" at Flow. I will comment more later... just read it... lol...
Also Above is a picture of the place the "Toilet Lady" Lived... lovely isnt it?

When I Get Older I Will Be Stronger

Good afternoon and welcome to my life.
so i have just recently found out that my boyfriend Dave is moving 4 hours away from me and will remain 4 hours away from me for 7 months... wow... it sucks i know! He is going to his friends house which i think is stupid but whatever. So anyway i will see him very rarely and therefore... obviously i am SOOOO upset!
I love him, but this will be a huge test on our relationship. i hope we make it... i really really do.
so anyway in the past few days i have mostly just cried and cried... oh yah, and cried. so needless to say i have not been able to focus on much else... wonderful... and the week that classes are starting for me too.

anyway on another note, i have found some random facts to cheer everyone up.




1. If you put a cell phone in the microwave (dont turn the microwave on) and call it... it wont ring!

2. if you chew gum while cutting onions, you wont cry.

yay!

love always

SmartyPants

A True MLIA Moment

Today at work i photocopied 40 copies of something. The photocopier gave me a few extras... I Thanked it for being generous. :P

I hope this brought comedy to your life. Im going to write more later, because i dont have time to fully blog atm... but i think i will have alot to say later, and im sorry delci, but some of it will be about me sad. ill explain another time.

love always
SmartyPants

p.s. When i get older... i will be stronger